[instiz] WHAT DID EVERYONE LEARN AFTER GOING THROUGH A BREAK UP?

Not using "being nice" as an excuse to always accommodate everything, and not liking someone too much too soon..?

original post: here

1. Do not give all my heart away..

2. I learned that I skipped on one trash

3. People don't change, and I need to filter all the dismissive avoidants

4. I know how to recognize an avoidant

> How can you know..? Please share

>> Things to distinguish before dating:

- Maximum relationship duration (must be over a year)

- Reason for past breakups (red flag if they say things like "my ex was clingy" or "too emotional")

- Saying personal time is important

- Having a somewhat distant relationship with their family

5. Stop being sad over every little thing.. Be honest and talk things through

6. Stop thinking that this person will change

7. Don't spit out hurtful or sarcastic words in anger or in a fight out

8. People can't be fixed. Think you can change someone? You absolutely can't. Never turn a blind eye.

9. If they have an avoidant tendency in conflicts, I'll end it first... Don't depend on the relationship... Don't give all my heart... Don't be too emotional...

10. Don't lose myself

11. I need to meet someone who is timely and reliable when I need them.

Love is all about timing, and I felt it was important even after we got together, but I think it cooled off because I was really into him, but he wasn't available when I wanted him to be, and he wasn't available when I wanted to see him.

12. The list of conditions for people I should never date keeps growing

13. Avoidants are an absolute NO. People never change. Don't give all your heart away

14. Keep a safe distance

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