To get straight into the point: How do I overcome a toxic mentality where I inadvertently keep comparing myself (appearance-wise) to my sisters?
To caveat, I have a very good relationship with my sisters and family.
I'm a female, 26 years of age. I have two sisters, one older, one younger (I'm the middle child).
My sisters are very pretty, tall, and fashionable. On the other hand, I'm short, a bit pudgy and while I wouldn't call myself ugly, I'd say that I'm not pretty. My teeth are crooked (thinking about getting braces next year), my face is asymmetrical, my eyes are small, my nose is wide but not tall, and my stomach bulges out a little.
In relation to my outward appearance, I'm working on the fashion, skincare, buying myself pretty accessories, shoes, a hair iron (which I'm still struggling with). I'm not sure whether my makeup is helping or not but at present, I don't think I'm making myself look worse - a win is a win.
Even worse, I'm an introvert with social anxiety (largely stemming from the self-esteem issues), which makes it difficult for myself to meet new people/try new activities by myself, so I have never dated anyone or felt desired by anyone in my life. All the guys at work and at my volunteering activity are either married/engaged.
Do I really want to be in a relationship? I'm not sure, probably not. But it sucks to be in a position where I feel like I never had or will have the option, all while my sisters keep getting dates. It makes me feel left out and even a bit jealous whenever they talk about/badmouth their exes and when they go out on dates. And I don't like feeling jealous or having all these negative emotions. I also want to be genuinely happy for them!
My family is fully aware of my self-esteem issues and anxiety. Sometimes, out of nowhere (I really don't like talking about this so I won't ever bring it up), they have commented on how I have a very good personality, a good job, and will eventually find someone, but IF I HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY HOW IS ANYONE GOING TO SEE THIS BRILLIANT PERSONALITY
In the end, I believe it comes down to a "stop comparing yourself to your sisters" which was much easier when I was living overseas but now that I'm back and literally rooming with one of them, the "out of sight, out of mind" practice doesn't work so much anymore.
Am I too free or something? Maybe each time they go out on a date, I force myself out the house to do something to keep my mind away? But that's a lot of effort...
Please, any advise?
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