I broke up with my first boyfriend after around 5 months dating.
The relationship wasn't smooth, I got mad at him like every two weeks because various reasons like how he sometimes went out with his female friends as the only guy without even telling me (I only found out after he posted stories with them), he always prioritized his friends, don't really put efforts, and we had different preferences when it comes to being intimate (because I believe in no sexual activity before marriage) so when I was with him I always wanted to break up.
The thing is, after cutting him off, I feel so empty and I ended up contacting him again asking him if we could make things work only to be rejected (because he said we both need time and better off being friends).
I know I better off without him, but I don't know why I keep missing him and regretting the break up.
I'm already in my late 20s so I'm also afraid that I will end up being alone since most my friends are all in a serious relationship and I wonder if I will lose them one by one when they got married.
I also feel like I lost the chance to have a better future since he's from an upper class background, I even wondered if I should have just endured the problems to have a longtime relationship.
Is it just my insecurity because I believe it was my first and last relationship since I'm not attractive and therefore no one will be interested in me again? What should I do?
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