I'm really bad at explaining so sorry if this doesn’t make sense. I don’t know why, but I have never genuinely liked anyone romantically once before. I’m 23 now and when I was younger, I'd roleplay and date like that to see if I could even replicate it because I felt like I was just missing out, with how everyone had kept pressuring me to date and all. I still have to deal with my mum and dad asking when am I gonna marry someone or do they have to arrange one for me.
I always said no, playfully because they’ve always gotten pretty scary if they notice any sorta attitude but they’re starting to actually think about arranging one for me. and I know with that comes with the pressure of giving birth and having kids. But everything about sex repulses me to no end too. I just wanna be left alone and live alone. I’ve always enjoyed being alone in the first place. but they never understood it when I tried telling them.
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