[marriage & in-laws] SHOULD I HAVE A SECOND CHILD FOR MY ELDEST DAUGHTER?

Hello

I started to worry about something

I'm writing this post to gain some wisdom

I'm 36 y.o and I'm the mother of a 6 y.o daughter

Yesterday, my daughter said while playing on the playground that she will have fun playing with a 4 y.o dongsaeng

So just in case, I asked

"OO-ah~ do you wish to have a dongsaeng?"

And she nodded her head

She knew that I didn't want more children

And she also was being careful while talking to me

She would also sometimes express it to my husband

I honestly don't want to have another kid

The time period of pregnancy is a pain

Giving birth is a pain

And raising a kid is also a pain

When the kid is born

I can't sleep nor eat properly

I can't even go to the washroom comfortably

Because I've experienced it once,

I don't think that I want to give birth to another kid

But my daughter said that she wanted a dongsaeng

So my mind is perplexed;;

Seems like she gets envious of the kids around her who have a dongsaeng

Anyways,

What about you guys??

How did you feel when giving birth to your second child??

I also don't think that I should have another child because of my daughter

I feel like it would be the best to have a second child when I want it desperately

But I also feel bad for my daughter..

Please share some wisdom

Thank you in advance..

post response:

[+19][-495]

original post: here

1. [+273, -76]

If you give birth like that and that your daughter ends up being annoyed by the kid, you won't even be able to ditch the kid and it will so hard to deal with so what are you gonna do then? Stop with the crazy thoughts and just raise the kid you have properly

2. [+230, -7]

Once your daughter attends school, she'll find friends and her dongsaeng will be an annoyance to her

3. [+211, -19]

I'm the first daughter of my family and what my parents said was that I kept on nagging about wanting a dongsaeng but they would always tell me to give up on it and just endure it. After I started raising my kid, I realized that kids of that age all say this. Every time my daughter talks about wanting a dongsaeng, I would tell her that if she had a dongsaeng, then mom and dad would take care of them first and have less time to play with her. I would explain to her clearly that she would have to share her toys and the snacks she likes with her dongsaeng. I live abroad so here, having 2-3 kids is the standard. My kid who used to be envious of those who had a dongsaeng slowly stopped talking about it as she grew up. Because she saw that taking care of a dongsaeng could be crazy and that there were a lot of cases where kids would share rooms, she now says that she likes to be alone too. This is all thanks to my husband who plays well with kids. She's 10 y.o now and she's the happies when she plays with dad. She grew up with love and affection so she never had separation anxiety and even now, she grew up into a kid who is very yielding and considerate of others. She's good at school too and she gets along with her friends. As I lived through life, I realized that having siblings doesn't mean that you will have a good personality, rather, there are plenty of cases that having siblings will make someone more greedy and possessive. Having one kid allows you to focus and care for them so I'm satisfied enough now.

4. [+83, -3]

A kid isn't a toy. How can you think that you can make a human for another human?

5. [+57, -4]

I want to ask if you think that a second child is a toy seeing how you said that your first daughter "wants it" and that you're debating on whether to have one or not... The parents should be the ones planning for the family. Act responsibly and only get a second child when you can raise them properly and really want to have one.

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