[marriage & in-laws] I RECEIVED A PROPOSAL BUT I SAID THAT I ONLY WANT TO DATE

We've been dating for 8 years and my boyfriend proposed to me.

Since we've been together for a long time, we became familiar with one another, we communicate so well to the point that we cannot imagine our lives without each other and we know each other the best and the relationship is comfortable so I like it.

But marriage is a different thing...

My boyfriend's family are very difficult.

His mother doesn't want to work whatsoever so his father can't help but be the only income earner of the family.. Besides, he also has a troublesome maknae who cannot settle down and he has a nuna who said that she wanted to go into arts and is still not earning any income now..

It's not like I didn't know about this situation... I really like my boyfriend and if I think about building a family with him, I get happy but

I don't want to become family with my boyfriend's parents and siblings and these thoughts outweighs the former ones.

Nevertheless, because we've been seeing each other for a long time, I have hope that his siblings would settle down... that when his parents retire, they find some pastime...

But as expected... the mother who always lived while saying that they don't have money at home said that even if his father retired, he isn't thinking about having a pastime but that his body hurts here and there and that he needs to go to the hospital...

The troublesome maknae dongsaeng isn't getting into troubles anymore but they can barely manage to get their own food and they just feel like a ticking bomb, so I think that I'll always be anxious about the next time they'll get into trouble..

The father said that he'll take care of the expenses once he retires but I think that it will be difficult to do so...

My boyfriend said that he cannot cut ties with his family

But he proposed to me... to be honest, I cannot accept it

I'm happy to date you and I'm happy to be able to marry and start a family with you but if I get entangled with your family's affairs, I feel like my life will end...

I just want to date you. I originally had thoughts of wanting to marry you but it's good and I'm fine with just dating you too.

Also, I told you later that I'd think about getting married when your family is not your first priority, but I'm the priority.

Am I wrong for being like this...?

His parents who always want to receive something more is the opposite of my parents who always want to give something more. With my sense of duty and anxiety, I feel like even if I marry him, I think that I'll get a divorce later...

I said that it's good to just date too and that if he still wants to get married, that we should break up

So my boyfriend said that if that's the case, then we should just date... but I don't even know if this is right

No matter how much I like my boyfriend, I have no confidence that I will embrace his family and accept them... is breaking up the solution? If not, should we continue dating?

post response:

[+963][-58]

original post: here

1. [+712, -17]

You need to break up. The reason: when you guys get older and can't get married, it's obvious that he'll be blaming you... seeing how your boyfriend is proposing to you even under such circumstances, he's someone who think that marriage is possible even with his situation. He's someone who wants to do everything with others even if he doesn't have the reasons to... He will 100% blame you

2. [+506, -9]

It's better to break up. If you guys get older and can't get married he'll say that he can't get married because of you and I don't know how it's gonna turn out. It's harder to have a safe break up as time goes on

3. [+380, -29]

What a smart lady... When you get older and open your eyes more, you'll know how smart your decision is. Marriage doesn't complete love. It's fine to just date.

4. [+182, 0]

I'm giving you a sincere advice and it is to just break up. He's a man who has hopes of marriage despite his difficult family situation so as soon as he doesn't think about marriage anymore, he'll be so quick at thinking only about expenses and money. I hope that you don't have to experience that. It takes less than 3 months to turn 8 years of love into trash

5. [+147, -2]

Why is everyone saying that she's smart?ㅋㅋ; she wasted 8 years dating a man like him... It's not like she had no thoughts about marriage and just like OP wrote, I don't think that she's never thought about marriage? (OP said that if she becomes his priority, then she'd marry him)

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